Anxiety

A shiver through my spine, a sign;
The temperature of panic is hot and cold,
A light sweat overcomes me.
My heart is a racehorse.

Numbness in my brain,
A sinking of my heart as I realise it’s this again.
Familiar;
But not a friend.

I cannot breathe.

Like quicksand, I am sinking,
Deeper,
Deeper,
Deeper.

No logic yet.
Sensations aids stress.
A tingle in my lips,
A pain in my neck,
A stab in my chest.

A reminder that I’m not in control.

Raise your legs,
Lie down,
Close your eyes,
It’s going to be okay.

The urge to survive kicks in.
Desperate now.
You’ve taught yourself to see the signs.
You’ve done this enough?
Don’t let it win.
Never let it win.
Just go away.

Where is the tiny pill that you rely on like water?

Shout.

Turn off the sound.

Let me breathe through this.
Just let me survive.
Again.

 

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